Tuesday, July 05, 2005


I was rereading Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire last night and this line stuck out to me. “Understanding is the first step to acceptance, and only with acceptance can there be recovery.” So, so, so true. I’m finally getting to the point where I understand my actions. Even reading a movie review turns the light bulb on. I’m loving it right now, but also hating because I don’t know what to do. This weekend was good and bad. Good because I got to talk with some people, learn some things, and do some thinking. Bad because I’m still confused, have some tough questions to ask myself and I don’t know if I can answer them.

My horoscope today….There is some likelihood that you've been a bit of a loner lately. It's as though you decided to look at things differently from the rest of the world, rejecting the individualistic viewpoint in favor of a more global one. Today, you may achieve a new phase in this process. You may attain some summit of consciousness from which you finally have the ability... to forgive!

It seems like everything is coming at me right now, right when I need it. “The teacher will appear when the student is ready” I’ve realized the only person I need to forgive is myself. I feel the way I do, not because someone did something I didn’t like, but because of my reactions to these thigns. I can’t control someone else, but I can control my thoughts and feelings. So now instead of getting mad, I’ll ask myself why am I mad and work from there. It’s actually kinda empowering if you think about it. I CONTROL MY LIFE. Very awesome words.

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