Sunday, June 26, 2005

Update of sorts

I'll start with the non-emotional stuff. I'm still sick, this weekend it's been the cough. Right now if I cough I get a headache, it's horrible. I think back to when I had larengitis and wonder if it's happening agian. I actually went out on Friday and bought cough syrup, I hate that stuff, but if it works I'll drink it. If I'm still feeling horrible tomorrow I'm canceling the trip and going to the doctor instead. (having said that I'll probably make a recovery tonight and be fine tomorrow)

Saw Mr. and Mrs. Smith yesterday. It was a pretty good movie, Brad looked good.

Cropped for a few hours today. I meet up with some friends and we headed out. I got some stuff done. Hawaii will be done some time this year. :) I left early though because my head was pounding.

It's been a weird weekend and I blame part of it on PMS. I get too emotional. I think about things I shouldn't think about. Like, why if it was a 'nice' breakup do we not talk. How can you go from having someone so important in your life to them basically disappearing? I think that's the worse part. I still like Brian, it was just the point where I had to decide if it was forever.

I've been thinking a lot about how we are raised and how it influences who we are now. From the little things like grocery lists to the big things like kids. I've always gotten along well with my parents, home has always been a place of comfort. When I was sick at school all I wanted to do was come home and lay on the couch, at home I was with people that cared about me. I think this is the reason I never thought about leaving after college. Why leave if things are good and work is close enough to drive to? I never even really thought about living with someone before marriage. I've heard too many things about it. I mean one of you would 'own' where you were living and they could kick the other out at any time, there was no guarentees. Home is always a guarentee.

I hate roadblocks, it seems I hit one once in awhile. I go along fine and then BAM. 2 steps forward, 1 back, my life is that neverending cycle. I wish I had the answers.

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